The Crudely Illustrated Blog of Juan Michael Porter II

(She is pouring herself a drink as she says this.) The drink.  And if I’m going to feel anything I might as well like it.  Don’t you think?

That’s a lot of responsibility… for alcohol.  (She stares at him.  Takes a drink and sighs.) I don’t think it’s that thoughtful-

Listen, all I asked you was what you thought-

And I’m telling you.

It’s a just a drink; it can’t think.  (He grabs her hand and nuzzles it, brings it to his lips and kisses it.)

Neither can you; not when you’re drinking.

Ha-ha; but darling, isn’t that the point? (He frowns.  She snatches her hand away.) Who needs to think when they can- ?

So you drink to forget- ?

Don’t ask me that.  (She gives him a warning glance which he heeds.  She relaxes.) I’m not that thoughtful.  (She pours herself a long drink.) I don’t need to know the reasons to everything that I do to know that it makes me happy.  (She finishes pouring and then begins gulping.  She chokes half way through, he goes to assist her- she holds him back and continues drinking.  After the drink she coughs and sighs.)

That didn’t hurt?

It all hurts.  Ha ha.  Cough.

Are you so unhappy?

Not right now.  (He grabs the bottle; she catches his hand.) Don’t.

(He snatches his hand away.) You should drink because you’re happy; not to make yourself happy.  (She takes another drink.) And I’m not so sure it really makes you happy.

Then you haven’t had enough to drink.  (She pours him a long drink and slides it towards him.  He just stares at it.) Weak.  I don’t think there’s anything wrong with deciding to enjoy life-

If you enjoy it-

Even if it’s in the simple things; like enjoying a drink.

That simple?

It always is.  Isn’t that what you decided?

A long time ago.

Heh.

Why are you- ?

There you go again; always asking questions which have no answers instead of waiting for the…

Waiting for the what?

Will you relax? It’s not that serious.  Ha-ha.  Have a drink.  It might do you good.  (He frowns.) Please?  (He looks at her.) No?  It’s Johnny Walker Green; your favourite.  When was the last time you- ?  (He flashes her a glare of warning; she stops.) You know you could humour- no.  That’s fine.  Just sit and sulk.  That suits me… (She knocks the drink over violently, throws down a wad of money, grabs her coat, stands and begins to leave.  She stops.  She has her face to the door; neither of them will will look at each other.) You coming?  (There is a stand off.  He doesn’t move and neither does she.  Finally he dips his finger into some of the alcohol and brings it to his lips.  He licks his finger, sighs, grabs his jacket, stands and follows after her.  He comes behind her and kisses the back of her neck before exiting.  She shudders, turns back towards the table where she was drinking then turns and follows after him.)

-JMPII

Cleans everything.  Everything.  Out.  If you don’t get it… just try it.

My friend ‘Bryn Don O Von Vebstir’ came by bearing gifts of Jewish Love (re; food).  Chicken Soup (though sadly with no matzo balls), a burger with fries, banana nut pancakes (for breakfast) and a GALLON of cranberry juice…  My Jewish Mother would definitely approve of this one as a friend.  Yeah I plan on downing the entire thing between tonight and tomorrow and being spic and span better by Sunday.  Let the kicking of my Sickness’ @ss begin!

-JMPII

You ate a jar of broken glass and 15 packets of cigarettes for dessert.

For dessert; then what did I have have for Supper?

This is a friend of mine on how my voice sounds now that I’m sick.

Poetry; pure poetry is what I call it.

-JMPII

So I’ve been missing a great deal of class these first two weeks of school at the Graham School.  The reason?  I didn’t decide to join until Monday, then I’ve had rehearsals, and meetings.  I am not one of the young kids who is looking to start a career; I’m actually in the middle of a career shifting gears because I want to dance the Graham Rep.  That must sound funny as most people who know me are aware that I don’t care for partnering (and the Graham Rep. obviously all about partnering and the women).  I’ll figure it out I’m sure.  In the meanwhile after a week of preparing for performances with Alpha Omega Dance (performances which were canceled because of the snow) I now have the flu and have to miss more class just when I would be able to rejoin full time.  How annoying.  I hate this weather.  Whenever I work hard, no matter how much I take care of myself I end up getting sick when it is cold.  I thank God I launched my Moving Beauty Series in July otherwise I would have lost more than 15 pounds.  Ah well.  For the hear and now I am sleep, sleep, sleeping (which is really quite dull), and drinking massive amounts of fluids.  Lets pray that it takes effect soon.

-JMPII

Hey Ma?

Yes Johnny M’Boy?

Does ‘No’ create the desire for yes?

Why, you know something?  I suspect it does.

Then why are you always telling me no?  Don’t you realize you’re just f#cking with me?

Well there, wee little Johnny Boy Jr, I’d never thought about it that way.

You’re F$cking with me, Ma; F$cking with me!

(She smacks him with a wooden spoon.)

Oi there!  Wha- ?

Young wee little Johnny Boy Jr. Esquire, ‘No may create the desire for yes but a wooden spoon creates the desire for no again.’

-JMPII

I’m afraid you’re out of luck with the Butter.

How’s that?

After I’m done there will be no more.

That seems to make sense.

Well aren’t you upset?

There’s more butter in the freezer.

Not any more.

Jesu Christe!  What did you do; eat it in your sleep?

…Having butter around a french descended man is like having goldfish around a ravenous cat.

Cats don’t eat goldfish; they’re poisonous.

How’s the cat supposed to know that?

(Slap!)  Shut up and go buy me some more butter.

-JMPII

It certainly is violent.

Perhaps that’s the appeal to the American psyche.

Oh definitely.

I much prefer soccer where the audience storms the field and rips it’s home team limp form limb should they perform poorly.

Strum them up and savage them like cannibals even.

Or trample anyone whose in the way as they exit the stadium.

Or riot and set cars on fire should their team win.

Oh there’s nothing unique about that; they do that with basket ball too.

Good point.

You know rugby’s pretty violent too.

Not really.

Are you F%cking kidding?

Shh…

Is this is just one of your ‘Hate on America things’ again?

Shhh…

Uh huh.

-JMPII

It’s 30 degrees, no wonder it’s so warm and immediately had the epiphany that I was indeed in Hell and that it had just frozen over.

Long Days of Summer and 110 degrees come back to me.  Once again, I promise I shan’t complain about the heat once.

-JMPII

I’m sick again.  It couldn’t have anything to do with the fact that I wake up at 7:30 to get to class by 9:00 to go to rehearse for Michael Mao at 12:30 pm to go to the gym or Graham II rehearsal at 3:30 to go rehearse for Alpha Omega at 8:00 and finish at 10:30 pm.  No… couldn’t possibly have anything to do with it.  This sort of high wattage none stop scheduling is not really healthy for anyone and is all put impossible for me especially during the winter and so… Now I am sick.  I look forward to being healthy again.  The marvelous thing about being healthy is that once you leave the shores of sickness for health again you immediately forget what it was like to visit Hell.  Ah boy.  Here’s to.

-JMPII

Silly enough?

I’m going to blog it.

-JMPII

We kiss in the shadows of Big Brother’s Brow, under the Stars of the Internet.

When you’ve never met me?

You’re so beautiful; I’m glad you like me.

I don’t like you; I’m in love with you.

…How can you say You’re in Love with me?…

I follow in the steps of Romeo and Juliet.  I’m pretty sure Juliet did not like Romeo.  Chances are had she not died in such a useless display of her ‘love’, chances are Juliet would have come to despise Romeo.  As I am only Juliet to your Romeo, yet not Juliet at all, I don’t think I could despise- I don’t think I will despise you upon further acquaintanceship, rather I think I will come to enjoy you more and more as what must surely be some sort of love transformed into genuine respect and what I feel would be love again takes hold of my soul.  So I’m in Love with you and Hoping to Love you after Love has transformed.  Besides, I certainly don’t not love you so what else must I feel?

-JMPII

Well, that’s complicated.

What the F$ck’s complicated?

It’s not a simple Yes or No answer.

I know it’s not- have you or have you not been watching her-

Now hold on there-

No, you hold on!

I don’t like what you’re insinuating-

That you’ve not been doing the F$cking Job I F$cking paid you to F$kcing do?!!  Well- say something.  What?  Not simple enough for you?   Too ‘complicated’ for you?  It’s a simple yes or no Question you fool-

Yes, I’ve been watching her-

You D@mn well better have been!  So what’s the- ?

Just- Stop.  Sigh.  While no longer involved in elaborate schemes to cause your violent death out right, take it for granted that she would prefer it if you would go on a head and die and I can’t see that I’ve cause to blame her.

You’re walking a thin line now.

Not thin enough.

Don’t get smart with me.

I wouldn’t dare.

Oh, and you’re funny too, huh?

Hilarious.

You’re fired.

No sir, I quit.  In fact- (He pulls out a gun.

What are you- ?   What are you doing?!

(Blam.)

You… you- shot me.

It’s never ceased to amaze me; your deeply developed talent for stating the obvious.

Choke!  But- but- why?

That’s the complicated part; I hate you too-

So you shot me?!

You’re not worth that bullet Mister.  No, I sold myself out to your daughter; she hired me.

You Two-Timing B!tch!

You say B!tch, I say Independent Operator.  Next time pay me in full; on time.  Oops, there won’t be a next time.  Hasta La Bye Bye Mister.

-JMPII

I found someone who resembled my Love

I gave her my lust Hoping she’d tell me
She loved me.   My hope became her Dream.

For a time the sojourn was abated
Enraptured, distracted by the new delicacy before me
Until light shined through to reveal the distortion

Incomprehensibly alike as unlike to the Truth
I was looking in her for what I had in You.
I tried to tell her but she couldn’t hear that truth

She gave me Her Truth and that Truth became Me
Whispered secrets only Our ears could interpret

What remains of a devoured heart save a translucent cage which distorts light?
The secret That Truth can be Truth though Love Surreal is plastic

She wasn’t Her so I devoured her heart until nothing remained but a plastic shell.

I fled with my secret from heart to heart
unwilling to break free of the Heartache
and destroyed everything with an embalming clearness sans clarity

I spoke our secret into the air
praying it would blow away and leave me clarity
It’s clear as it disappears that
Clarity comes only after all is lost

Clarity like peace comes only in Death

-JMPII

We’d just finished f#cking and he started making excuses about having to get up early so I got dressed.  I was a little pissed but I didn’t want to make a big deal, so I went to kiss him and he handed me 3 one hundred dollar bills.

Say what?

That’s pretty much what I said.   He said it was for the ‘cab ride’ home and I was like, ‘It doesn’t cost 300 dollars to go 10 blocks.’  But he was all, ‘Just take it.’  Ha.  And what was I supposed to do?  I pulled out 120 dollars, tossed them at him, said, ‘I think that about sums up your worth’, and walked out the door.’

Well… I would have kept it- .

No you wouldn’t have.

In a New York Minute- .

Whore.

Was it worth it?

Pride’s not such an expensive thing.

Says you.

It was only $120.

$420.

How’s that?

120 for the money you gave him and 300 for the money you didn’t that.

Ha-ha.  That’s a lot of pot.

Pardon?

Think about.

I still don’t get it.

Ha-ha.  No, I guess you don’t.

-JMPII